The future approaches ruthlessly fast, and time waits for nobody.

My apologies; it has been a HOT second since I last posted. In my defense, its been a hell of a few weeks and I've had a lot on my plate, with little time to decompress anything/everything that has happened or any of my thoughts. I'll break all the important things down for you all:

1) GRADUATION

The day I had loooooong been waiting for. Yep, it actually happened. I became a college graduate on May 17th. As I entered the ARC in my cap and gown and heard Pomp and Circumstance being played by the band, it was hard to be a little emotional and overwhelmed by it all. I was...done. With college. With school. It signified the end of being a student after the past 17 or so years. Frankly, being a student is something second nature to me. Homework, BlackBoard, assigned reading and PowerPoint presentations have consumed a rather large portion of my life over the past number of years. Its scary to not be able to rely on the familiar title of being a "student" anymore or probably ever again.

But that all said, I am so ecstatic to be on to my next life adventure!!!!*

Probs the one time in my life that I was clearly excited to be clad in head to toe brown

Straight cheesin

With my favorite Valpo Alumni, my mama. ♥

❤️

I would just like to point out that I was "First BA"dass (lawlz) to graduate. Its okay though, I didn't trip or make a fool out of myself like I was expecting.

Shaking the main Valpo man's hand

As a person who typically can be found supergluing her fingers together or somehow spontaneously bleeding while doing crafts, I'm pretty proud of this creation.

*BUT OF COURSE, a part of being on this adventure as a college graduate means getting a reputable real life job with things like a salary and benefits....needless to say thats something I'm in the process of working on...

2) My Stepdad's Retirement Celebration

Ironically, as I make the transition to one stage of life from a vocational perspective, my stepdad Bill is making a transition to another stage. This is his last year teaching at Grace Lutheran, my elementary school alma mater and home church. Its bizarre to think about the fact he's been a teacher there for 14 years, with almost 12 of them being my stepdad.

Last Sunday, a retirement luncheon in honor of Bill and two of my other past grade school teachers was held.

(Fact: me and my stepbrother Mike share the same kindergarten teacher who was also honored at the retirement luncheon. The cutie on the bottom left poppin in is my niece/Mike's daughter, Maddie)


One of a kind stained glass piece made for Bill

 

Overall, it was a quick but great weekend spent with my pretty great relatives.

(And Chachi, naturally)

3) Picturing how incredibly different my life is going to be like in the (frighteningly) near future

The last night in this Forest Park townhouse where I lived more than half my life is July 31st, 2014, and my parents and Chachi officially peace out of the USA and leave for Slovakia on August 20th, 2014, which oddly enough marks exactly a year since I left for Germany to study abroad. 

And just like that, two people and one little dog that have been "home" to me for quite some time now will be 4,743 miles and one very large and deep pond away from me.

It hasn't quite sunk in that the times I can call my mom as soon as I wake up around 9-10AM and talk with her about our daily plans or text her photos of the cat sitting in a ridiculous pose on the couch or drive the creative back way to Oakbrook mall in order to avoid the expressway, or listen to SportsCenter echoing throughout the house after my Bill gets home from school, or times to take Chachi on long walks around the neighborhood and watch him get enraptured over bunnies and squirrels are numbered. 

These small, seemingly insignificant and ordinary events that I have become familiarized with throughout my life are drawing to a close, and I can't help but feel uneasy with it ending so soon. The home I built here in this space, surrounded currently by the walls that watched me grow up; walls that currently enclose me as I type these words out. Walls that won't belong to me come August like they have since Bill and my mom married in August 2002. Thinker/teacher/philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti is quoted saying, "One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end." Krishnamurti makes a good point, as I know the life I have here and now in this house in this neighborhood like the back of my hand and its comfortable for me. Unsurprisingly, its a very strange feeling to be forced to let go of something that was literally your life for the most poignant years of life thus far.

That said, I'm a firm believer in the idea that life isn't meant to be lived in just one place, and a part of becoming who you are and knowing yourself are can only be realized by leaving pieces of your past behind. Frankly, how can you possibly expect to change and develop as a human being if you continue to clutch unto parts of you that are just empty voids of the person you once were? It could be a hobby or a habit or a tick or an ex or a mistake or anything. What is the point of holding on to those parts of your being that no longer serve you or grow you or make you into the best possible "you" that you can be?

After returning from living in Europe for 4 months first semester of senior year, I began to finally truly understand the saying that you'll never feel completely at home again after traveling and experiencing new places and creating a "home" using what you've got to work with. While the whirlwind of all these significant life events that include both myself and my immediate family that have/are occurring so rapidly and all at once leaves me in a bit of a dizzy spell, I know once things finally fall into place all this madness and frustration and insanity and uncertainty that is consuming me as I work to create and establish a place for myself in the adult world will all be worth it in the end. 

Just like how I left a piece of myself in Reutlingen, Germany and a piece of myself in Valparaiso, IN, a piece of who I am will be left here in this house with the seemingly trivial and inconsequential fragments of what growing up here has been like over the past decade for myself.

This long and lengthy chapter of my life here is drawing at a close and things that are seemingly so vital and necessary will soon be just pieces of the past. But that's okay; I need to make room for the vital and necessary pieces of this new life that is beginning, I'm sure that the chapter following this one will be even better.

Until next time loves,

Rachel ☆