I feel as though my birth story is slightly reminiscent of a lot of things in my life to this very day, as I've been doing things differently, unexpectedly, and festively since the day I was born. I was brought into the world surrounded by no drama, no screaming from my mother for epidurals, and no intense suspense as to when I was going to exit my mother's womb, all the while with her and her doctor casually discussing where you could get the best tequila-based/alcoholic drinks in the area, and finally, with my birth story being tied together by living my first few days under a special lamp because the jaundice I had caused me to begin resembling a Simpsons character (clearly I've been workin that #RachelAbbinanteProblems since day 1).
Obviously, its no secret that no one is ever destined to live a picture perfect life, and I myself am no exception to the rule. But even if I had the option to live a "perfect" or flawless life, I wouldn't take it. In fact, I'm positive that I can't live a life of seamless transitions, effortless successes and easy answers. Sure, I regularly complain about being shit broke, I don't always say/do the right thing and I allow myself to fixate on my past choice of actions, and sometimes I accidentally make poor choices. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum, sometimes someone else's involuntarily poor choices make me.
But I wouldn't trade the flaws, the quirks, the abnormalities, the challenges and even the occasional panic attacks and momentary bouts of suffering for anything that would be considered less "complicated" or, the word I love to hate, "simple".
Even if such simplicity in my life would mean being wealthy enough to have no student loans/the ability to casually buy a pair of Louboutins and Mercedes Benz S Class, not have Type 1 Diabetes, have the capability of understanding complex (hell, let alone basic) mathematical concepts, and be 10-15 pounds thinner, I don't think I'd trade what I have now in my life, even if it meant I was turning down an opportunity to make my life significantly more pleasant. As masochistic it that may sound, I have to admit that there is something so satisfying about the struggle. Something so rewarding about being able to work at and face your own unique challenges. Its times like those when you discover your strength and begin to understand yourself as a person.
While I decided to begin this blog for a variety of reasons, my overall objective was/is to change the way people, specifically those in their late teens/early twenties that don't entirely know what direction their lives are going, regard their struggles and challenges, whatever they may be. It can be easy to lose hope, become manically stressed, or feel consumed in fear due to the unpredictability of finding your way in a universe that frankly doesn't really give a shit about you or your happiness, and if I can be a testimony of someone who recognizes and registers such a fact, openly documents her failures, triumphs, trials and tribulations, and still finds it in her to see the beauty in the terrifyingly exhilarating unpredictability of the future of my life, then I will have succeeded.
I want this blog to encourage others to try and understand themselves better as they seek out their place in the world, no matter what they pursue. This era of one's life has such incredible potential, and I don't just mean career or education-wise. Kyoko Escamilla said it best when he referred to your 20's as your "selfish" years. To be selfish with all aspects of yourself. To immerse yourself in anything you can, and to travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and to never touch the ground.
At the very least, I'm hoping this ongoing written documentation of my crazy, weird and unusual path into real, functioning adulthood can be a beacon of hope to anyone that needs to start the "real, functioning" part abruptly. Its safe to say not everyone's parents sell the house and dip out of North America 8 or so weeks after college graduation like mine did, so if I can radically get my life together in such a short time, anyone can.
Even before you took your first breath in this world, you were unlike anyone or anything this planet had ever seen. You had no control over how you were brought out into this earth, but its important to remember the very first story of who you are and how you came to be are examples of your individuality and uniqueness both before you exited the womb, and of course after.
In closing, dear reader of this blog, I encourage you to embrace your own path, learn to admire the beauty of your own personal challenges and setbacks, celebrate when something great happens in your life, and above all, to always have faith in yourself.
But I wouldn't trade the flaws, the quirks, the abnormalities, the challenges and even the occasional panic attacks and momentary bouts of suffering for anything that would be considered less "complicated" or, the word I love to hate, "simple".
Even if such simplicity in my life would mean being wealthy enough to have no student loans/the ability to casually buy a pair of Louboutins and Mercedes Benz S Class, not have Type 1 Diabetes, have the capability of understanding complex (hell, let alone basic) mathematical concepts, and be 10-15 pounds thinner, I don't think I'd trade what I have now in my life, even if it meant I was turning down an opportunity to make my life significantly more pleasant. As masochistic it that may sound, I have to admit that there is something so satisfying about the struggle. Something so rewarding about being able to work at and face your own unique challenges. Its times like those when you discover your strength and begin to understand yourself as a person.
While I decided to begin this blog for a variety of reasons, my overall objective was/is to change the way people, specifically those in their late teens/early twenties that don't entirely know what direction their lives are going, regard their struggles and challenges, whatever they may be. It can be easy to lose hope, become manically stressed, or feel consumed in fear due to the unpredictability of finding your way in a universe that frankly doesn't really give a shit about you or your happiness, and if I can be a testimony of someone who recognizes and registers such a fact, openly documents her failures, triumphs, trials and tribulations, and still finds it in her to see the beauty in the terrifyingly exhilarating unpredictability of the future of my life, then I will have succeeded.
I want this blog to encourage others to try and understand themselves better as they seek out their place in the world, no matter what they pursue. This era of one's life has such incredible potential, and I don't just mean career or education-wise. Kyoko Escamilla said it best when he referred to your 20's as your "selfish" years. To be selfish with all aspects of yourself. To immerse yourself in anything you can, and to travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and to never touch the ground.
At the very least, I'm hoping this ongoing written documentation of my crazy, weird and unusual path into real, functioning adulthood can be a beacon of hope to anyone that needs to start the "real, functioning" part abruptly. Its safe to say not everyone's parents sell the house and dip out of North America 8 or so weeks after college graduation like mine did, so if I can radically get my life together in such a short time, anyone can.
Even before you took your first breath in this world, you were unlike anyone or anything this planet had ever seen. You had no control over how you were brought out into this earth, but its important to remember the very first story of who you are and how you came to be are examples of your individuality and uniqueness both before you exited the womb, and of course after.
In closing, dear reader of this blog, I encourage you to embrace your own path, learn to admire the beauty of your own personal challenges and setbacks, celebrate when something great happens in your life, and above all, to always have faith in yourself.
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